if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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