I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
