sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
