like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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