Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
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After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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