I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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