whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
