I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
