with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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