they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
