Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
