If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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