If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
