We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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