You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize