Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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