You're so nebulous sometimes
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize