I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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