all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
