I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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