He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
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I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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