I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
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his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
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i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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