from now on my penis is your penis
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
