i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
