I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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