Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
