last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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