Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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