Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
