ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
