hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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