pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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