Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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