im drinking this country out of the recession.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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