well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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