God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
