the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
A+ Viking dick
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