did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
