she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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