I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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