absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
