White coat. Heels.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
