you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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