So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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