fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
