Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
