i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
