I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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