Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
