Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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