Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
