dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
