i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
