where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
