with your own penis?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
