I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
