I think I am morally bankrupt
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
